the waste of pleasure weeping
I've begun a project about waste; mostly this involves me spending copious amount so time in dumpsters. However, I've also come to recognize that I've been wasting away. I've been wasting time on the mundane, wasting money on frivolity, wasting moments on sleep, wasting thoughts trying to master the meaningless. How does one face about from such deeply entrenched wasteful behavior? How can I pry this microscope from my eye. I don't want to just ignore and justify away the thoughts that bother me, I want to feel genuine aparthy toward them. I want to be aloof. I want to not give a damn and mean it. My care for people and things becomes obsession and fear and impotence. I don't mean that I don't want to care about anything (I feel I have to state this as a disclaimer), only that I wish I could not care about the insignificant things that fester in my brain and make it sometimes difficult for me to enjoy my life. -rs
