yesterday's consciousness (return to quality remix)

So I'm "done" with two of the first projects of the semester one editing, one for experimental film, both "completed" under durress. Props to Beevy for helping me out. One of these days I am going to do a project that is not at the very last possible minute and that comes out exactly as I wanted it to. I need to get going on the PID zine. I still have halloween as a tentative street date, but I'm constantly thinking of new fun projects that get in the way of me being able to concentrate on it. I think for the most part its going to be filled with my crappy sleepless stories for lack of any other content. It just needs to be. The second edition will be good, I promise. *love, ryan.

i'll send you one when i get there

Instead of sleeping like I meant to, I posted the first entry in my quasi-serial story blog. Its good for a chuckle. Check it out. *love, ryan.

weekend update

friday: My sister, erica, and my bro-in-law, todd arrived at my crib on wednesday but spent thursday night at my parents house. Formy birthday, they got me a 3day pass to the 2nd Annual Austin City Limits Music Festival and drove to austin from flagstaff, az to hang out for the show. I worked thursday and went to sleep friday morning with the intention of sleeping a few hours and getting out to catch some early stuff at the ACL Fest. But as often happens with my best laid schemes, it gang aft agley and I woke up at 6pm, exploding out of my house to zilker to catch Robert Earl Keen at sunset. Saw spoon and finished off the short day with an ill performance from Rev. Al Green. After the show, I spent the evening with Sam, who had prepared an awesome birthday dinner much to her distress which included a sitcomesque episode involving incooperative raspberries.

saturday: A whole day of music fest madness. Saw Asleep at the Wheel, Old 97's and then it started to rain. The dandy warhols played a remarkably dirgey set and kicked off what would turn out to be a string of melancholy performances. Saw Los Lobos - best show ever! Definitely the best show of the festival, anyway (will post pictures soon). Jay Farrar and Bright Eyes followed. We gave up on Pat Green cause he's a wankster and met up with my mom and dad for a late dinner. After that I went to one party where the crowd was mostly cool but grungey types - needless to say I didn't feel like I fit in. Then Magnolia where I consumed too much coffee. 3am, wide awake, was convinced to go to a cinematexas party held at the residence of my experimental film class teacher. No booze, too artsy - needless to say I did not feel like I fit in. I don't fit in anywhere. I don't even know why I bother going to parties. Right, the free booze. Home at 430, slept unwillingly.

sunday: Zombie with zero sleep, hit the rainey day concert early for the shins, soulive, lucinda williams (does she have something in her mouth?). Polyphonic spree makes me want to join their cult. The rain stopped and a cool breeze blew. Yo La Tengo finished their set with a free jazz jam about nuclear war which I'm pretty sure was just to make fun of everyone in the audience (or at least the people dancing gleefully to "nuclear war, its a motherfucker, push that button, kiss your ass goodbye"). Sis and I bailed out for a break from the crowd and came back after dinner for an awesome show by REM. Meanwhile, todd bought me a gallon jar of pickels for a project that I thought I'd do, but have decided not to. Now I have a gallon of pickels. *love, ryan.

my body sings electric (morning after remix)

Went to the mogwai/trail of dead show with beck, mickey, nathan and john, a friend of mickey's. beck and I hit the roach before the show and were very well lubed by the time twkubttod came on. I'm not really a fan but I was pretty pissed and let myself go into the mosh pit. what a kind and loving mosh pit. I lost my glasses and some nice gents found them. What a relief. Oh mosh pit! So much wailing and gnashing of teeth and drunken homoeroticism. If thats what hell is like, sign me up. Anyway. beck, who was one drink drunker than me got kicked out of fucking emos and disappeared. my bag was in randomjohns car. I passed out in the grass by the baptist church on 10th until he sauntered by. Home home. Sleep now. *love, ryan.

life is but a dream

At work I tried to write a romance novel to pass the time, but it turned into this short story. Here is the transcript from an actual conversation I had with beevy following the authoring of this story. Clearly, he is a figment of my imagination or vice versa. *love, ryan.

no noose is good noose

Did I mention that my birthday is coming up? I didn't? Well, it is. September 22nd. Mark it on your calendar. Don't forget to give ryan a birthday present, either, or he'll be pissed. To help you, I've posted my birthday gift list on this site under the 'linkage' section. And don't worry about getting me a gift by the 22nd, thats a lot of pressure, I know. Ryan's birthday is more of a season, so take your time. Its the thought that counts anyway. *love, ryan.

smoke and mirrors

I went to the Esther's Follies last night with sam. Like a lot of kids, when I was little I wanted to be a magician (I also wanted to be a juggler - damn you klutz books!) and to some extent, still do (george melies was a magician before becoming a filmmaker). I received a 'magic kit' one christmas and over a year or more compiled a lengthy repetoire of tricks - I had the hat and the wand and the whole nine. I occaisionally had a magic show in the living room, performing such tricks as the 'turning milk into ribbons' and 'stabbing a sword through my hand,' but they were rare. I think I was interested in magic less because of the perfomrance, than because it initiated me into a world of secrets that was so seperate from the ordinary. I held on to my secrets and because I didn't share them, I'd eventually forget them. I sold my trunk of tricks at a garage sale. Now, having seen live magic performed before my very eyes, I'm a little glad that I gave it up for whatever reason. I'm not interested in disecting the illusion anymore. I only want to experience the wonder. *love, ryan.

i should wait until tomorrow

...I stayed home today instead of going to AMN but wound up just spending the morning doing amn stuff anyway. I also finally added an exciting archives section to my blog so that you can read past entries and relive them all over again for the first time. Thanks to my experimental film class, I've decided on what to get for a tatoo. I think I'm going to do it this weekend before I have a chance to realize what a bad idea it is. Just you wait for the pictures! *I heart you - I heart you a lot, ryan.

doris orange and the citrus utensils.



and I used to be so cute, too.

principles of easy listening pt. 2

I just finished a giant butterscotch milkshake from Sandy's. My heart stopped beating for a moment but I gave it a few good whacks and it started back up again. I hope to add a sub blog for the 'recently' sidebar that I'll update with revolting frequency. I'm getting a digital camera so expect ridiculous amounts of pictures of me in comprimising poses to begin appearing soon. If you want to submit anything for the vaguely ghostbusters-related zine I'm working on, please do. Right now the content is remarkably like that of this blog (ie my mindless ramblings). Submit to me! Submit! I hope to have this puppy on the streets by Halloween. I'm thinking about making t-shirts or something for people who contribute. At the very least there will be a party here at the crib with copious amounts of free booze for those that help. Tonight there is a full moon. I'm going to go scream obscenities at it. *love, ryan pt 2.

principles of easy listening pt. 1

Forgive me, blogger, for I have sinned - it has been one week since my last entry. School is in full swing now which means I have projects due yesterday already. My long repressed good student has resurfaced and I'm already getting a jump on them. In less than two weeks, I will be an old, old man of 22. This is the oldest I've ever been in my life. I am trying to avoid the obnoxious period of introspection that usually accompanies my birthdays in favor of either a bender or some mid-mid-life crisis freak-out like buying a ferarri or ensaring a 12 year old girlfriend. Since I have neither the money for a car nor the time to hang around middle schools, neither of these seem too likely, sadly. I think instead actually I'm going to begin to document my life in excrutiating detail. My parents were never big into taking photos of my sister and I as kids and so I have but vague memories of childhood. I want to make photgraphy a part of my routine so that my children (whomever they may be) will have some memory aids. My heart has opened up around the soviet designed LOMO and may it never close. *love, ryan pt 1.

meshes of afternoon

School has started and not since my first semester have I felt so optimistic about school. Its my last year and I'm mostly determined to make up for all the time I've wasted thus far. I went on Friday to what is probably my last ever tres amigos related anything as I have quit working there. Saturday angie & i went to a casting call for a tommy lee jones movie set in austin. I hope I get called back. Sunday we went to the zine library which is less library and more a corner of a warehouse. The setting actually enhances the experience, making it feel like you're going through someone's old journals in their attic, which is great for me because I'm a total voyeur. Monday was labor day, so I sat in the lab, with a pen and a pad, drinking and listening to jazz. Oh Lethargy! Oh Alchohol! Then I went to the elephant room and continued the trend. I want to tear my skin off, stitch it into a double breasted suit, and wear it to a costume party - I feel that satisfied with myself right now. *love, the ryan.