When the time comes to leave just walk away quietly and don't make any fuss

I've only had a car for two months and in that time I've already received two speeding tickets, both of which I assure you, were complete bullshit. The first was while I was on my way to my grandmother's funeral. It was a Saturday, I was running late and I was wearied under the circumstances. While undoubtedly, the explaination I provided for my excess speed must have sounded quite fallacious to the highway patrolman, it was a tragic fact, that the officer should have treated as such. I'm sure in his experience, the majority the tales of woe people try to ply him with are complete fictions, but is that reason enough to behave with a complete absence of human sympathy and dismiss every reason as a fabrication? To answer my own rhetorical question, no fucking way. I would rather the cop have pretended to believe me even a little and dropped a tiny, "Oh I'm sorry for your loss, but unfortunately it is my duty to give you this citation," or something to mitigate the prick of his sting operation.
The most recent ticket, while still bullshit, was one that I would have gotten eventually. I wasn't in any particular hurry, just on early morning autopilot driving only slightly faster than permited by law. In all probability, it was just a matter of time before I got this ticket, its just a drag it had to be so proximate to the last one. Whatever. *love, ryan.

Us he devours.

In honor of the new year, I've decided to resolve myself to write in this blog every day. Looking over its spotty content, I'm saddened that many of the details of my life are lost to time forever. My memory is pitiful even at age 23 and I see little chance of it improving substantially before it sours completely. Its for this reason I hope to create a document that withstands my own failing memory. Furthermore, as I am out of now school and experience minimal mental stimulation in my work, I think that writing a few lines each day will be a useful intellectual exercise. Here's to many future posts and to staving off dementia for just a little while longer. - Love, Ryan.

eyeshot valley of the micromacro maiden

Its been so long since I last posted that I really don't know where to begin. While laboring at Blue Genie gratis, I got a job working in the PBX office of the new Hilton downtown after having been snubbed by nearly every employer I've interviewed with like so many bad first dates. I was at a low point, one that can only come for me from absolute liesure, when I took another hotel job that could do little else but grind me further into the status quo. To make matters worse, my evening hours at work overlapped neatly with Sam's own work schedule to ensure that we'd only see eachother for a few hours a day despite that we live together. I was aware of this consequence of my employment, but I did it anyway. Needless to say, this caused a significant rift in our relationship. Sam felt that I'd sold her out for a dead-end, albiet reasonably well paying job, that I'd abandoned her with The Baron, that I'd chosen the feeling of being accepted by an employer over my family and ultimately, my own happiness. I would have preferred blind support for my decision so that my guilt could remain concealed, but Samantha has never been so inclined. And then providence smiled down on me in a most peculiar way. While I was undergoing my "training" at the hotel, I was still sending out resumes and after sending one for a job doing video editing, webwork, and shipping of all things, I got an interview. I've been involved with cable access since I was in middle school, either as a way to get access to broadcast equipment or during my time at the Austin Music Network. I am fated, it seems, to continue this involvement. The interviewer was none other than the wife of Alex Jones, local broadcast personality, infamous for his conspiracy theories. Two interviews later, I've quit my job at the hotel and for better or for worse I've taken the position with Jones doing more or less what I spent four years getting a degree in - editing and multimedia. The money beats the hell out of any other shit-job I could fathom and I'm sure it will provide me with a wealth of annecdotes. Its a day job and I have a desk and I feel like more like an adult than I have at any point since graduation. Its not exactly where I would have predicted myself being two or three years ago, but its a step forward, if even a small step. Wish me luck. -love, r.