pages like fallen leaves

Ok, I'll admit it, I have a problem. I've had this problem for as long as I can remember and I'll be damned if I can't shake it. I love books. I love the library. The library, however, does not love me. Or rather they do because thanks to my singlehanded efforts, the City of Austin has been able to build several new branch libraries and additional wings to existing branches with the fines I've paid over the last three years in late books. Earlier this week, I received yet another threatening memo from the City, warning me that they're on the verge of litigation for two books I have had, well, a very long time. Why don't I just return the books? Why not just use the money that I'd spend on late fees to buy them from a bookstore? All legitimate questions. The answer came yesterday in the form of another letter from the City in which they finally requested that I become a part of their elite team of book-stealing ninjas. Together, we will sneak into peoples' homes and take their library books. They would pay wallet-gouging fines for books they believe they have lost and the library can finally afford to expand their DVD collection. I love it when a plan comes together. *love, ryan.